Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Top 10: Albums to Listen to While High

After a lengthy break, Average Teenage Banter is back, to the joy of millions of people across the world, bringing you the first installment in a series of weekly "Top 10" lists. This list shall countdown the top 10 albums that you absolutely have to listen to while stoned off your ass.

10. Fragile - Yes
As we all know, progressive rock is about 20 times better while under the influence of exotic herbals. So, it seemed only natural that prog rock legends Yes make this list. The first track, Roundabout, is awesome while down to earth but, with your head in the clouds, it is the most amazing thing ever written. The bass line at the beginning alone will keep you entertained for hours.

9. Brothers - The Black Keys
I know, I know, this isn't exactly what you'd expect to make this list. But think about it. I don't know about you, but one of the things I tend to do a lot while around marijuana is dance. And the bluesy grooves on this album beg you to get up and dance. So, if you want a dance party, instead of cranking party techno (nothing against techno), just hand everyone a bong and crank the blues rock.

8. Dare To Be Stupid - Weird Al
If you take any children's show or dumb comedy and watch it while high, it all of a sudden becomes funny. So, what happens if you take an album that is already funny and listen to it while stoned? It becomes side-splittingly hilarious. I opted to go with this instead of, say, Lonely Island, because this is a little more "stupid humor" as opposed to Lonely Island's SNL-style "intelligent humor". The intelligence circuitry in one's brain tends to not work as well when one is high of one's ass.

7. Bringing It All Back Home - Bob Dylan
Of all the things Bob Dylan is famous for, what I think of when I hear "Bob Dylan" is his nonsensical lyrics. Take for example this first lyrical stanza from Mr. Tambourine Man:

Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me

I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to
Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand
Vanished from my hand
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

Normally upon hearing these lyrics I think "What in the hell is this guy talking about?" But when high, I'm generally wiping tears tears from my eyes, exclaming between sobs "It's so true!!!"

6. Back To The Noose - Swashbuckle

In order to fully appreciate this one, make sure you follow this link and watch this youtube video of Swashbuckle's hit single, Cruise Ship Terror:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53A4GyB96RI

I know, I know. It's hilarious. It's the epitome of laughable wannabe-Slipknot bands (still working out why anyone would want to be Slipknot; I'll get back to you on that). But now listen to it after a joint or too. I don't know about you, but I thought that I had just discovered a revolutionary new album that would change the very landscape of music, and was lamenting myself for not taking it seriously before. Heh, heh. Swashbuckle.

5. Congratulations - MGMT
This is the perfect album to listen too while you have just kind of a chill high. This album emanates just sitting back and relaxing. If you're stoned and just feel like chilling, listen Congratulations. You'll think that there will never be another problem in the world.

4. Exodus - Bob Marley in the Wailers

I really had to put a Bob Marley on this list. I'm not sure if you knows about this or not, but I have uncovered a very rare, unknown fact - Bob Marley smoked a lot of weed. Yeah, I know, shocking, right? Anyway, the track Three Little Birds is just that much better when you're a bit up in the sky. I guarantee that you will be bobbing your head back and forth with a weird smile frozen on your face by the end of it.

3. Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band - The Beatles

Of all the innovations The Beatles made while they were together, I think one of the most important ones was the concept album. SPLHCB was really the first concept album, and remains to this day one of the best. And what is a concept album with out a little pot? Not only the lyrics, but the music as a whole will take on a whole new meaning.

2. Yoshimi Battles The Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips

My fellow Average Teenage Banter blogger recently informed me that Flaming Lips frontman Wayne Coyne has never been on drugs. I still can't say that I completely believe him. But if that is true, this guy is just a messed up person (in a good way, of course). If you're talented enough to think as absurd thoughts as Coyne did with out a little stimulation, go for it. But, for normal, not completely insane people, I think a little weed is needed to fully appreciate this album.

1. Dark Side Of The Moon - Pink Floyd

This really shouldn't be a surprise. I mean, it's Pink Floyd. Dark Side Of The Moon is already one of the greatest albums of all time. Listening to it while high may very well be the most amazing thing ever. Plus. the only thing better than watching somebody listen to the vocal solo on Great Gig In The Sky while stoned is listening to it while stoned yourself.


Well, there it is. I'll be back sometime next week with another Top 10 list. Until then, you shall be entertained with plenty of rants, reviews, theories, and observations with the experts here at Average Teenage Banter.

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